Weaknesses of men every woman should know. I want to warn you, men don't want you to know about these, so don't bother sharing this with any man, because he'll either deny it or tell you to stop watching that stupid YouTuber with a red background.
The craziest part is, even if he knows that you know, it still doesn't matter, because these weaknesses are triggered by subconscious responses outside of a man's control.
The video covers nine of them. Here are all fifteen: how each one works, why it works, and how to use it to put yourself in a position of power with the men you date.
His Ego, Stroked
Here's the mistake a lot of women make. They think stroking his ego means telling him he has really big muscles, oh my God, you're so hot, you look like a celebrity. Now all he thinks is, I'm already a blessing to her just by existing. He doesn't think, how do I do more for her? He thinks, how do I just be here and let her appreciate my existence?
Never compliment a man for his existence. Stroke his ego only, only, only for what he's doing for you in the relationship. He books the reservation and gets everything handled, and you say, wow, I really appreciate you for being such an amazing man that can plan and organize all of this, I literally just had to show up. Now every time he wants his ego stroked, he turns to doing things for you. Who gets the benefit? You do.
His Ego, Reflected in You
He tells you he likes the natural look, so you stop doing your makeup, stop doing your hair, and start bumming it out when you go out together. That's a mistake, because a man's ego is attached to how people see you. When people come up to him like, oh my God, this is your girlfriend? She's stunning, or guys try to approach you because they think you're single, he's thinking, I made the right decision picking a woman everyone wants.
No matter how much he complains about it, he actually feels better about himself, because his ego is being stroked through you. I know it sounds bad, but it's the reality of how men think. So keep living your life, keep doing things for yourself, and never tone it down. If looking your best is how you get it poppin', you keep it poppin'. I don't care what that man says.
His Ego, Challenged
You can stroke his ego in the negative sense too: you're less of a man if you can't do this. Say you're planning a date and he's like, I don't know, whatever you want. You say, well, I like sushi, I like seafood in general. I know most men struggle to make a decision, but someone as smart and intelligent as you, you strike me as the type of man who knows exactly what he wants and picks the best spot the first time. Most guys would have no idea how to do that.
It sounds positive, but read between the lines: I have a feeling you're not that level of incompetent. Now he has to choose. Either he admits he's one of those incompetent men, or he proves you right, because his man ego won't let him sit in the bucket of the indecisive, silly, soy boy man.
The Game He Can't Finish
Men love games. Not playing games in a relationship, but the foundation of what a game is: challenges and goals in a specific order, with milestones, rank and respect racked up along the way. Men don't know how to enjoy a game they finish on day one. GTA is one of the most successful games of all time, and one of the biggest reasons is the constant downloadable content. Even after he's done virtually every challenge, new missions keep spawning.
So never let him reach the finish line on day one, week one or even month one: sleeping with you, getting all your time and attention, you acting like his wife. Use milestones that aren't centered around dates, but around real things he does, like introducing you to his family and his friends. That's when he gets more access to you.
The Spell He Wants to Be Under
Men enjoy being seduced, and I'm not talking about sex. I mean not being given everything at once. You insinuate, you make him think a little bit, you make him fantasize. A lot of women neglect this, because when you really like a guy you want to give him whatever he wants instantly, scared he'll get bored and throw you away if you don't. That's honestly just not true.
When a man is attracted to you, he wants to be under your spell: she's got control of me, she won't give me quite what I want, but I feel like I'm on the brink of it. He's not chasing sex when you're seducing him. He's chasing the trance you put him in, where he just wants to do whatever you want. And I don't just mean getting you sexually. I mean getting you.
The Bait He Can't Resist
Think of this one like fishing. When you want to catch a specific fish, you throw out the specific bait that fish will bite onto, because not every bait works on every fish. Every man has his bait. For some it's a spiritual awakening. For some it's his kinks and his fetishes. For some it's his childhood: never getting approval, maybe an absent father, nobody ever telling him they were proud of him.
Ask questions about his childhood, his fears and his biggest insecurities, and you'll stumble upon it. You'll know you found it when he tells you he doesn't get to experience it with anyone else, not his family, not his friends. This is something that really makes him feel seen, and that's why it's so impactful. Now imagine you're the first person to ever give him that. All of a sudden it's like, I need you to stay here, because how am I supposed to recreate that with someone else?
You as His Muse
Men use women as a muse. You ever notice how a man who wins a big award thanks his wife for inspiring him and supporting him? When a man meets the woman where he feels, damn, she's the woman, he gets inspired to become a better version of himself. So make sure he sees your growth, your accomplishments and how you take care of yourself. Your goals don't have to be solving world hunger, but he should feel that you aren't complacent.
When he tells you that you inspired him to focus on his career or learn a different language, embrace it, and ask him, what have you seen me do that inspires you? Now if you ever walk out of his life, you're not just walking out with yourself. You're walking out with his ability to feel inspired and motivated every day. I'm not saying he can't have internal motivation, but if you're a source of it, you being gone can make his life feel very gray.
The Life You Speak Into Him
The muse is about inspiration. This one is about motivation, and it's how you speak life into him in a way that makes him value you because of how capable he feels around you and with you. With a man who actually wants a relationship with you, you can be the most effective person in his life at reminding him who he is: I know you're capable of this, you've overcome challenges before, and no matter what, you always make it happen.
Even early on, you can use the stories he's told you. Say he moved out at 18 with a rocky family situation and figured life out on his own. When something comes up, you say, you already got through something much worse than this, and most people don't do what you did at 18 by the time they're 30. When you can inspire him through what you do and motivate him through how you speak life into him, you're golden.
The Touch That Calms Him
I don't mean touch in between his legs. I mean strategic touch to relieve his stress. Say you're in the car and his boss calls, I need you to do this and that and finish all of it by Friday. When he hangs up, you can feel it. He's stressed, he's worried, and he's not even present with you anymore.
Instead of saying a bunch of stuff like, oh, it'll be all right, you put your hand on the back of his neck while he's driving and start rubbing his neck and his ear. I promise you, you'll feel the tension escape his body. Sometimes the right touch at the right time is even better than actual words, because it tells him, you don't need all the answers right now, I just want to help calm you down.
The Tension You Hold
This one is a little bit sexual in nature, but again, it's not about sex. Don't neglect how powerful you can be by holding sexual tension and delaying sexual gratification, because when you practice that art well, your spell on him gets a lot stronger.
Find out what he enjoys the most: the outfits he thinks are sexiest on you and the verbiage that holds the most weight for him. Does he like when you call him daddy? Papa? Baby boy? Some men want you to talk to them like you're their mommy, and some like you're their baby girl. It doesn't have to be all the time. Every man is a little bit different, and for those of you that know, you know. Keep that tension going outside the bedroom. It's a level deeper than flirting, and if you do it well, it makes the sex way more satisfying.
His Need to Feel Autonomous
When you really want a relationship to work out, you can start to become a control freak. I'm not saying that makes you a bad person, but you can get the wrong result. Tell a man, I expect you to do A, B and C by tomorrow, and for the most part, his man instinct tells him not to do it, because now doing it feels like you forced him. Men love to hunt. They love to feel like, I went and got what I wanted.
So make the suggestion and let him make the final decision. Instead of, hey, stupid silly caveman man, take me to Nobu, you say, I've never been to Nobu, it looks so nice, and every time it shows up on your TikTok or Instagram, you send it to him. When your birthday comes around, where do you think he's taking you? Act surprised, thank him like it was all his idea, and he's happy feeling like a man for making the decision that made his woman happy.
Feeling Appreciated by You
I'm going to try not to rant, because this one really grinds my gears. There's a mind virus women are sharing with other women. If he doesn't do something you could post on TikTok for a million likes, a hot air balloon ride, a plane writing your name in the sky, a $50,000 diamond ring, then it's the bare minimum. Him planning a date, bare minimum. Flowers on a random Tuesday, bare minimum. Getting your favorite snacks because you're on your period, bare minimum.
But if everything is the bare minimum, there's nothing to appreciate him for. Yes, you deserve a lot, but not every day is a magical balloon ride in the stars. Appreciation is holding his hand, looking him in the eyes, and telling him specifically what you appreciated. If you can't appreciate him for the small things, he'll never be motivated to do the bigger things.
Not Feeling Judged by You
There's a male mind virus too: all I'm supposed to do is get money, drive fast car, nice watch, big house, fancy clothes, don't be sad, be man, man no sad. So men feel a lot of things, and they suppress a lot of things. On a regular basis, remind your man that he's allowed to be human. He's allowed to be sad, to be disappointed, and to have a problem with something you said or did instead of holding it in.
Let him know you don't judge him for his feelings, his kinks, or the quote unquote weird things he's into. You'll be shocked at how men melt in your arms when they don't have to put on the macho front. Feeling truly seen happens so rarely that when he gets it, it's so hard to let go of that person.
Feeling Important With You
With his boys, the conversations are mostly light. At work, it's about the business. Rarely does a man feel like the most important person in the room. So ask yourself, if I wanted to make someone feel like the most important person in the room, how would I act? I'd be leaning forward, looking him in the eyes, hanging on to every word, asking follow-up questions, touching his arm.
But sometimes on a date you do the opposite. You're so in your head about answering everything perfectly, like you're the one getting interviewed, that you're looking around, fidgeting, nervously sipping your drink, and he doesn't even feel like you're listening. Even if you're nervous, ask yourself one thing: how do I make him feel extremely important? When men feel like they actually matter, they feel like this is the place they need to be.
His Need to One-Up Other Men
Men always want to be better than other men, in both senses of the word. This is why I say never tell a man how the men before him took advantage of you, lied to you, cheated on you, and how you forgave them a million times. Tell him your previous men treated you like garbage, and he'll want to be better at treating you like garbage. In his mind he's going to say, okay, perfect, I'll go one up and take advantage even more.
I'm not saying you should lie. What I'm saying is, focus most of your stories about past relationships on the good things a guy did for you, and keep the details of the lying and the cheating to a minimum. Tell him the last guy treated you like a princess, and he'll want to one-up that instead.
Want this lesson as a guide?
I turned this exact video into a free guide you can download and keep.
Questions women ask me about this
- How do you stroke a man's ego the right way?
- Compliment him for what he does for you, never just for existing. Tell him how amazing he is for planning the whole date, and now getting his ego stroked means taking action for you.
- Should I stop wearing makeup if my boyfriend says he likes me natural?
- No. Never tone it down. A man's ego is attached to how other people see you, and when people tell him his girlfriend is stunning, he sees it as, clearly I made the right decision. No matter what he says about it, keep looking your best.
- How do you make a man feel important?
- Listen to him like he's the most important person in the room. Lean in, look him in the eyes, hang on to every word and ask follow-up questions, instead of worrying about answering everything perfectly. Most men rarely get that feeling, so when you're the woman who provides it, you become extraordinarily special and he becomes attached to the feeling you give him.
- How do you calm a man down when he's stressed?
- Don't say a bunch of stuff like, oh, it'll be all right. Put your hand on the back of his neck and rub his neck and his ear, and you'll feel the tension escape his body. It tells him, you don't need all the answers right now, I just want to help calm you down.
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