Give Me 28 Minutes and I'll Teach You How to Make Men Chase You

Selection: Only Use This on a Man With High Interest

The most important step in this entire process is choosing the right man to use it on. For every one of us, no matter who you are, celebrity or supermodel, people fall into three buckets: the high-interest crowd who want us badly no matter what we do, the lukewarm crowd who could take us or leave us, and the no-interest crowd who won't want us regardless of how we dress, talk, or walk. That last bucket doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a person.

Your job is to spend your time where you're most desired, and to get good at spotting quickly which men are in the high-interest category. I'll be honest with you, because I can't lie to you: there is no magic potion that makes a random stranger fall in love. Life doesn't work like that. But if a man already has genuine interest in you, these strategies will take him from interested to extremely obsessed. Use them on the right man, and don't fall for the trap of trying to convert a man who was never in your crowd.

Magnetism: Clear the Runway for His Approach

You want to attract men toward you while leaving space for him to take the actual step. Say you're at the gym and a man you can already sense has interest in you is at the squat rack. You've got a full menu of workouts, so you strategically take the rack next to his, without acknowledging him, without saying a word. You know exactly what happens next: he notices you, he strikes up the conversation, oh, it's you again, what are you up to today, and it flows from there.

That's magnetism. It's still strategy, it's just not overt. You're positioning yourself in his line of sight, in a place where approaching you is easy, and I call that clearing the runway. Not easy as in free access to you. Easy as in the first step costs him nothing, so a man with high interest will take it every time. Then the talking leads to him asking you out, and you got everything you wanted by doing nothing but standing in the right place.

Be Playful: Teasing Makes You His Equal

The gym guy tells you he hit a 315 personal record on squats, and you should've been there, it was amazing. Do not worship him. Tease him: did you actually do 315? Because I've seen you doing those quarter reps where you barely bend your knees. I don't know if I believe you.

You're nervous he won't like it. Who gives a damn? Remember, you selected a man with high interest. And here's what the teasing actually communicates: equilibrium. You only tease someone you see as your equal, not above you, not below you. So every playful jab tells him, however desirable you think you are, I'm exactly that desirable too.

The opposite is deadly. When you're so scared of upsetting him that you won't joke about anything, you communicate anxiety, and he starts to believe you're below him. Men need to feel that you don't worship the ground they walk on in order to chase you. A little humbling, delivered playfully, reminds him you don't think he's the best thing since sliced bread, and men find that genuinely fun.

Seduce Without Saying Anything Sexual

Real seduction happens in nonsexual conversation. Say he mentions an event everyone's invited to and tells you, come through, bring your girls, I'll be there with my guys. Here's your response: I don't go anywhere unless I've been personally invited, and that someone has to really show me how badly they want me there. Then I know it's worth my time.

You said nothing sexual. And yet now he's spiraling: wait, are we doing a thing here? Is there a thing between us? That's the craft. Seduction is not putting everything on the table. It's beating around the bush, staying slightly vague, saying just enough that he feels something underneath the words. When he walks away, he's replaying not just what you said but how you said it, the eye contact, what you might have been implying. All that decoding makes you more intriguing, and intrigue is where seduction lives. Give people just enough that they have to lean in.

Stay Naive: Never Reveal the Strategy

Men have fantasies too, and one of the biggest is the woman who falls from the sky like an angel: gliding across the room, effortlessly stunning, an aura she isn't even trying to have. Your job is to feed that fantasy by being completely naive about your own effect. Why is he so drawn to you? You have no idea. You're just being yourself. You're definitely not strategizing, and you're certainly not taking notes from a show that teaches you how to be seductive.

Because here's the rule I don't make but can explain: if a man senses that your allure is calculated, planned, and rehearsed, the spell breaks completely, and so does his excitement. Men don't want to know you worked to be this attractive. They want to believe you're a dream woman by accident. The naivety is what makes it feel like magic, and the magic is what he chases.

Stop Matching His Energy

You hear it everywhere: match his energy, match his energy. Stop. Think about what it's actually telling you to do. When a man is finally chasing and pursuing you at full force and you match that energy, you are now chasing and pursuing him back. And a man who feels your pursuit starts running experiments: what happens if I pull back a little? Still there. A little more? Still there. Congratulations, the roles just reversed.

And don't tell me you'd adjust in real time, because in reality, when his effort drops, you get sad, you get anxious, and you don't pull back fast enough. So here's the standing rule: no matter how much he texts, calls, or says he's obsessed with you, you never escalate your pursuit to mirror his. No matching paragraph-length texts, no matching daily calls, and definitely no filling in the silence on days he goes quiet. Be warm, reward his effort on the dates, make him feel good. But the healthy diet of this dynamic is him pursuing and you receiving. Guard that with your life.

Fairy Dust: Leave While It's Still Good

Never forget this: you are most valuable when you're least available. Every time you end an interaction first, I love this, but I've got to go, whether it's a date at the two-hour mark, a phone call after an hour, or a FaceTime before bed, you sprinkle fairy dust in your absence. He's left sitting in the feeling of, that was amazing, I wish she was still here, I can't wait to see her again. That feeling is what turns into pursuit. Plan the exit before the date even starts: two hours, then home, even if it's going well. Especially if it's going well.

Now the opposite: the marathon date. Dinner, then a two-hour walk, then two hours in his car, then his place, then Netflix, then dessert. Ten hours later you feel close to him, but here's what actually happened: you became the condiment in the back of his fridge. Always there, never craved, never thrown out but never chosen. I want you to be the pink lemonade that gets bought and finished the same day. Here, delicious, and gone in a flash, so all he can do is miss you. And if you ever notice his energy dipping mid-date or mid-call, end it immediately, before he starts glancing at his watch. If a man is inventing excuses to wrap things up, you've already lost the pursuit.

When He Disappears and Comes Back, You Didn't Even Notice

Say his normal rhythm is texting you constantly, and then it thins out, and then he goes two full days silent. Day two, he pops back up like nothing happened: my bad, work was crazy. Your anxiety is screaming at you to call him out. Don't. Your response is: huh, has it actually been two days? I didn't even notice.

I know it sounds toxic when you do care and you have been anxious. But walk through what calling him out actually does: it teaches him that his pursuit is a remote control for your emotions. He now knows he can pull back and watch you spin, which is power you never want a man to feel he has. What you want him to learn instead is that pursuit earns access to you, and absence simply gets him forgotten. Your world keeps moving. And if another man shows up and pursues you correctly, that man gets the access. That's not a game, that's the consequence structure that keeps a man chasing: rewards when he pursues you properly, and a life that moves on without him when he doesn't.