10 Feminine Traits Men Find Irresistible

Learn How to Receive a Compliment

This first one grinds my gears. I took a girl to a nice restaurant, she looked amazing, and I told her, you are the finest girl in this entire restaurant. Her response? Oh my gosh, no, I don't even look that good, my foundation didn't come out right, my hair isn't the right style. I'll be real with you: that was the biggest turnoff I'd experienced with her up to that point, and she wasn't my cup of tea after it.

When a man compliments you, there's a gifting process happening. He's offering you something. You see your smallest pimples and every pore when you get ready, but he is not seeing you the way you see you. When he says you're beautiful, he genuinely feels that way, and the worst thing you can do is take that away from him by listing all the ways you're not what he believes you to be. Feminine energy starts with receiving properly, even when you don't feel it about yourself in that exact moment. Just say thank you and let him feel good about giving it.

Stay Playful, It Keeps the Relationship Alive

Let me tell you a tragic story. A friend of ours started dating a girl with a very serious, monotone, don't-play-around personality, and it changed him. He used to be outgoing, always joking. After a while around her, he became a person with no color, no shape. Like that SpongeBob episode where he loses all his holes and he's just a shiny round thingabob.

Men love being around women who make us feel alive and young in spirit. Poking fun at each other, flirtatious back-and-forth, not treating every moment like a board meeting: that's what keeps a relationship interesting over the years. Some women confuse being serious with having self-respect and end up stealing the fun out of being around them. Be playful from the beginning. There are parts of a relationship to take seriously, but the fun is the key to the longevity.

Tell Him You Trust His Taste, Then Watch What Happens

Next time a man asks where you want to eat, instead of naming the sushi spot, try this: you know what, I actually trust you to make the best decision. I feel like you have amazing taste. I promise you, it's going to hit him like a ton of bricks, because most men have never heard that from a woman before.

You might be thinking, but I don't actually know if I trust his taste. Doesn't matter. What happens next is he says to himself, she really believes in me, so now I have to find the best spot, now I really have to research, because showing up unprepared after she talked me up would make me look horrible. Subconscious pressure can be a beautiful thing. And understand this about masculine energy: when men feel our most capable and powerful, it usually stems from a woman believing in us. Through your belief, we start believing in ourselves, and we surpass what we thought was possible.

Emotional Control and Emotional Intelligence

Here's what not to do. You plan a 9 p.m. call, he falls asleep after a brutal work day, and by 10 p.m. you've sent 17 texts, five voice notes, unfollowed him on Instagram, and deleted his number. He wakes up to Armageddon, and all he did was fall asleep. That's emotional immaturity, and I'll be honest with you as a man: most of us are anticipating that most women can't control their emotions. So when we meet a woman who feels things fully but doesn't let them run her, we go, whoa, this is a woman I can take seriously. We instantly know she'll be easier to communicate with, easier to compromise with, easier to build with.

Emotional intelligence is the second half: being able to decode your own emotions and deliver them so he can actually receive them. Say you're at a party and his best friend from high school runs up and embraces him, and inside you're going, is this man serious right now? The move isn't throwing water on him in front of everybody. You hold it, you digest it, and at the right time, away from the crowd, you say: it's not that I don't trust you, but watching you embrace another woman like that made me feel uncomfortable, because that's the relationship I want to share with you. Now he actually understands the root of it, and he can give you what you need. Yelling communicates that you're upset. It never communicates why.

Stop Controlling Everything and Let Him Play His Role

I dated a girl who, every time she got in my car, changed everything. The heat, the windows, the seats, the music, all of it, every time. And it wasn't just with me. With friends, with family, she had to control what everyone was doing even when it had nothing to do with her. It turned me off badly, because when a woman is hyperfixated on controlling a man, he can't properly exist as a man: the provider, the protector, the one making decisions.

Think of masculine and feminine energy like yin and yang. It only works in harmony when both roles get played. I know for some of you the need to do everything is a trauma response, the fear that if you don't handle it all, everything falls apart. But I promise you, when you relax and accept that it's not the end of the world if he doesn't do it exactly how you pictured it, you'll be happier, and the man you're with will be much happier.

Be Gracious: Let Him Do Things for You

A large percentage of men can't express how they feel about you in words. Saying you mean so much to me feels unnatural to a lot of us. What feels genuine to a man is action: fixing your car, getting the cereal box off the top shelf, noticing your face and handing you his jacket before you admit you're cold. When we get the opportunity to do those things, it is super important that you let us.

The I-don't-need-a-man tape playing in your head like a recorder gone mad will sabotage this. He offers the jacket and you say no, I'm fine, we're going inside anyway, while you're freezing. That's a bad place to be, because men love doing small things for you. The women who get the most from men know how to accept graciously, and they know how to play up the damsel in distress: can a big strong man who looks just like you come save me? I know it sounds silly and 1950s. I promise you, we eat it up. It makes us feel like men, and that has never changed and will never change.

Feminine Style, Quiet Confidence, and Self-Sufficiency

Some of you won't like this one: masculine men are attracted to women who give off a feminine vibe, and it starts with how you dress. A woman once asked me, why do I keep attracting these passive, overly nice, feminine men who never take action? I asked how she dresses. She said, honestly, I'm a little lazy: oversized sweater, oversized pants, sneakers, most of the time, all the time. Well, no wonder. Her presentation was attracting exactly the man she wasn't attracted to. Your style is your aura, it broadcasts before you ever say a word, and it decides who approaches. Yes, the curlers and the nails and the everything shower take more work. But the men you attract will be better quality, and far more aligned with what you actually want.

Now pair that with subtle confidence. Confidence is not being the loudest person in the room or dancing on the table collecting attention. Men can sense the woman with quiet confidence in how she stands, how she walks, how directly she speaks about her life and her desires. And trust me, we can tell the difference between real confidence, which is security, and fake confidence, which is insecurity overcompensating through attention-seeking.

Finally, be self-sufficient. Not fully-independent-don't-need-anyone, self-sufficient. Think of an electric scooter: you could push it with your leg and it would still go, but it also runs on its own when it needs to. Love having your man around, enjoy him being your big strong capable man, and be completely fine on the days he genuinely has to focus on work or family. Men love this because doing our job as protector and provider sometimes requires our full focus elsewhere, and knowing our woman can hold down the fort, that she won't fall apart without us, gives us the confidence to go handle business and bring it back home to you.