7 Sexy Things Men Love to Hear in Bed!

Tell Him When He's Hit the Spot

When you start getting intimate with a guy, it's easy to be in your own head, a little nervous, a little anxious. But don't let that make you forget the most important part of sex: communication. You know exactly which spots get you going. He doesn't. He can't, until you tell him.

So when he finds one, say it plainly and enthusiastically: I love when you do that, right there, that's the perfect motion. You're reinforcing the spot so he puts it into memory. Part of sex is learning each other's bodies, and every time you confirm a spot, you're building his map of you.

Here's what happens when you stay silent. He's doing something you're genuinely loving, but you're not saying anything, so his head fills with doubt: is she enjoying this? Is she bored? Maybe I should try something else. And he moves away from the exact thing that was working, then plays a guessing game across your whole body hoping to stumble onto a reaction. Your words end the guessing game, release his anxiety, and let both of you actually relax.

Guide Him to the Bullseye, and Tell Him Not to Switch

You know what it takes to get you to orgasm. He doesn't automatically know, so treat it like guiding him to a bullseye: warmer, closer, right there. Being vocal about pace and rhythm is what gets you there for real, so you're never stuck faking anything.

And here's the classic miscommunication to fix. You say, I'm about to finish, and he takes that as a starting gun and goes harder and faster, completely throwing off the rhythm that was working. So say the whole sentence: I'm about to finish, keep doing exactly what you're doing. Don't switch anything.

This isn't just for your benefit. When a man knows for certain you're enjoying it, he relaxes, and his own arousal flows from that. A huge portion of a man's turn-on comes from believing he's genuinely pleasing you. Men tense up in bed from nerves far more often than women realize, and your clear guidance is what frees him. You're doing something for him that's also doing something for you, and everyone wins.

Affirm Him: Bring the Outside Into the Bedroom

Affirmations aren't just for dinner conversation. During sex they're incredibly powerful, because you can take everything good that exists outside the bedroom and solidify it inside it.

Say you two were just on a date. You wore the dress he loves, there was flirting, tension, a little dirty talk over dinner, and he treated you well all night. Bring all of it into the bedroom with your words: you take such good care of me. When you grabbed me in that dress today it turned me on so much. I've been wanting this all night, I was so turned on sitting next to you at dinner.

You're doing several things at once. You're bringing him back into those charged moments, letting him picture how affected you were, and affirming him as the man, the one who provides, protects, and takes care of you. There is no more powerful moment to affirm a man than when you're intimate, because that's when he most wants to feel like the man in every sense. It lands mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, not just physically.

Verbalize How Much You Want His Finish

Telling a man how much you want him to finish, how much you want to see it and feel it, builds real excitement, because now you're the motivation behind it. You might think, he was getting there anyway, why encourage it? Because the encouragement tells him you want it, and a man's enjoyment is fueled by feeling wanted.

Now, a pro tip I share with caution, because it works a little too well: talking about how badly you wish he could finish inside you excites men enormously. But hear me clearly. This is fantasy talk, not an instruction, and it is only for experienced couples who have already had the conversation beforehand: some things we say in the heat of the moment are things we don't literally mean, they're just hot to fantasize about. If you and your man haven't had that conversation, or either of you is inexperienced, leave this one alone. Words like these need trust and an understanding around them.

Objectify Him a Little

Yes, you're a sweet, feminine woman. But intimacy is the place to explore the darker side of your personality, and one of the most underused moves is objectifying your man. Men spend plenty of time taking women in visually; almost no woman flips it back on him, which is exactly why it hits so hard.

It sounds like: I've been thinking about you all day. I need you. Don't talk, just come here. And it doesn't have to be one thing; if you love his hands, tell him what you want to do with them. Some of you are thinking, that's a little assertive, won't it turn him off? No. It will not. Men genuinely enjoy being sexually objectified by their woman, because you wouldn't want him like that unless the desire was real. That raw wantedness lowers his anxiety, confirms you're loving this, and keeps him completely locked in.

Narrate Like a Smut Book

A smut book is descriptive on purpose. It's written from the female gaze, going deep into detail, and the detail is what paints the picture. Your words in bed can do the same thing, because the mind is the most powerful tool either of you brings to the bedroom.

So describe things. Describe what's happening while it's happening, how he feels, how ready you are, how much you're enjoying exactly what he's doing. Go into depth. Paint the picture of your pleasure in real time. And when you know his fantasies, or the ones you share, describe those too, because imagination is so strong that talking through a fantasy can feel almost like living it.

Get good at this and you reach a point in your relationship where you know exactly what to say, exactly how to say it, and which words affect him instantly. With nothing but your voice you can change his entire state. That's how powerful description is when it's used correctly.

Beg for What You Need

The final one: begging him for what you want so badly. Not desperation in general, you're never desperate in life, you're desperate for him, in this moment. It sounds like: I can't help myself, I need you right now, I'm literally shivering. It might feel like playing a role at first, but what it does to a man is very real: it's one more unmistakable signal that you are deeply into this, and that he's doing a great job.

It also unlocks the animalistic side of sex, and that's a good thing. Sex doesn't need to be polite and buttoned-up. It's actually more therapeutic when both of you feel free to say whatever you want and be completely honest in the moment. And here's the bonus: most feminine women want a man who's assertive and confident in bed, not passive and shy. Your begging is exactly what pulls that energy out of him. When he sees and hears how much you're into it, he drops into that mode himself, and both of you get the release you actually came for.