10 Ways to Prove You Are Wife Material

Understand the Two Categories: Wifey Material vs the Fun Girl

Men put women in two categories. Wifey material, and what I'll call the fun girl. The fun girl is the yes girl. She says yes to any and everything because she's desperate to be validated by men, so she tries to be as easygoing as possible. And yes, fun girls get attention too, but it's a very different type of attention, because it takes no work or effort to spend time with a fun girl. Here's what happens as men mature: the ones who wifed the fun girl realize she can't set boundaries with anyone, not just with him, with other men too. Now he's uncomfortable every time he looks away, because his woman doesn't know how to tell guys no. Being with the fun girl turns out to be not so fun. It's work and stress.

So your mindset tells a man what you're really about, and your actions convey where your mind is at. If you're spending your weekends at the club thinking, I'm nothing like these other girls here, understand that your environment is communicating for you. Flip it around: imagine we're on a date at a nice restaurant and I tell you I wake up at 3 p.m., play video games all day, my mom does my laundry, and my rich parents give me an allowance. Would you think I was ready to be your husband? Exactly. Even if I never said it out loud, you'd figure it out. Your mindset shows him what you're ready for the same way.

Confidence and Security: Your Aura Does the Talking

If you don't carry confidence, you're subconsciously communicating to a man that you don't have value. Confidence sounds like this: I am about what I am about. I don't care what the other girls are doing or what attention they're getting. I'm not going to change who I am for anyone. And no, confidence doesn't mean being obnoxious or the loudest person in the room. Quiet confidence is sensed just as strongly. Everything you feel and think about yourself is what your aura ends up consisting of, and people absorb that energy before you say a word. If you think you're desperate for a relationship, that's exactly what your aura will broadcast.

Security is the same power pointed at validation. When he understands you are not desperate for his approval, the script flips. He starts feeling the anxiety: she doesn't care if I validate her, but I kind of want her to see me. The fact that he wants you is not a news flash to you. Join the line of a thousand other men. Now his job is to figure out how to stand out in that line, and that's when the pursuit starts. The insecure girl does the opposite: her whole approach is how can I extract as much approval from this man as possible, and men receive that instantly. Their conclusion is brutal: I don't respect her enough to make her my wife, but I could definitely use her.

Standards: Men Actually Want to Respect You

News flash: men want to respect you. They want to see you as a whole individual with thoughts and perspective different from their own, someone whose different skill set makes him better when you're together. Men might be emotionally stunted, but they are not idiots. They learn very quickly what your standards are, what you'll deal with, and who they can act up around.

If you abandon your standards because you want so badly to be in a relationship, he will identify that, and he will not respect you. And here's the trap: men only wife women they respect. No respect, no wifey material, period. Step outside yourself and look through his eyes. Is he really saying, I want to build a life and have children with a woman I have no respect for? So yes, some guys will be put off by your standards. Those are the guys looking for a fun girl, and you were never trying to attract them anyway.

The Power of Saying No

I know what you're thinking: he's going to like me more when I tell him no? Wouldn't he get mad, get bored, stop texting me? No. Your ability to say no reflects your standards and your confidence, because a confident person can say no without being controlled by the fear that you might not like her anymore. Saying yes to everything doesn't communicate that you're peaceful and easygoing. It communicates that you don't have the spine to tell him no.

When you tell a man no, one of a few things happens. Some throw a hissy fit, shocked and flabbergasted that you would dare, and you just stay calm. Then, like a toddler after the tantrum, a lot of them come back: actually, I apologize, you said no for a good reason, and I respect that. His respect for you just grew. Others throw the fit and never come back. That's fine too, because a man who believes you shouldn't be able to say no was never there to build a real relationship with you. He had no intention of seeing you as a whole person in the first place.

Passions: Have a Life That Competes for Your Time

Passions and hobbies show a man you have interests outside of him, and that stops him from feeling like he's the be-all and end-all of your life. Never give a man the absolute power of knowing he's the only thing you have going. The moment he believes I'm the best you can ever do, he stops putting his best foot forward. Why would he? You're not going anywhere. He starts talking to you and treating you like he's the best you can do, and you've self-sabotaged without realizing it.

But when you have passions, hobbies, friends, and places to be, he learns that your time has competition. He has to plan. He has to schedule. He has to stay on point because you are busy and important to more people than just him. That competition raises your perceived value in his eyes, and it keeps the man in check.

Consistency: Big Talk Means Nothing Under Pressure

I'll be the first to tell you as a man: there are plenty of women who talk a big game about how they're not like the other girls, and then fold after a tiny bit of applied pressure. You cannot wife a girl who is a good partner 20 percent of the time, who has standards 20 percent of the time. Consistency in your morals, your values, and your character, no matter what happens, is what shows him you're reliable. Not perfect. Reliable.

This is also why you throw away the men who try to convince you that you're their wife within two days. Think about it: if consistency is how a man knows you're wifey material, how could he possibly know by the second date? Impossible. A man rushing that conclusion isn't looking for a wife, he's looking for an avenue to manipulate you.

Pro tip: don't announce a standard you know you won't keep. If you declare, I don't sleep with anyone in the first week, and then you do exactly that, it's worse than saying nothing. You just showed him that with the right amount of pressure, you'll go a complete 180 on anything you say, and he'll stop respecting every boundary you set from that day forward.

Communication: The Skill That Makes You a Life Partner

Conflict resolution is a majority of every romantic relationship, because it's two people from two different childhoods who will not always see eye to eye. And here's a man's perspective: our natural instinct is to solve problems for our woman. If you can communicate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions in a clear, concise manner, you make it possible for him to actually help you, and that makes you one of the most valuable wife candidates he will ever meet.

Picture the alternative. He didn't introduce you to his friends at a party, it bothered you, and on the ride home he can feel your energy shift. He asks what's wrong and gets: you know what you did, I can't even talk to you right now, you never treat me right. Now he's scrambling, you're crying, he's confused, you're confused, and nobody can solve anything because nobody knows what the root issue is. The yes girls live in that glitch permanently, because they want to say something bothers them but they're too scared to stop being liked, so everything comes out as a jumbled mess. When you can name the issue clearly, calmly, and specifically, he realizes: you're prepared for a real relationship. That skill alone separates you from almost everyone.

Boundaries and the Ability to Walk Away

If you don't have boundaries, men understand they can walk all over you whenever they want. Your boundaries communicate your standards, and if people can cross them without consequences, they'll treat the whole relationship like there are no consequences. Think of a store where you could walk out with anything and nobody would say a word, not even the cashier. Why would anyone pay? Same logic: why would he commit, put in effort, or respect you if he can get everything he wants from you without any of it? No man wakes up saying, I want the mother of my children to be a woman I can walk all over.

And the final proof is your ability to walk away. Picture running a department store on a day with zero customers. One browser walks in and you'll spend an hour helping them try things on, hoping for the sale. Now picture the same store with a thousand people in line ready to buy. That same browser says, I'm thinking about it, and you don't even have time to hear it. When you know your value, you do not spend time or energy on men who show you they're not prepared to be who you need. You don't even have to walk away constantly. Men can feel it from the jump. It's why a married man tells his boys, you must be crazy if you think I'm doing that, my wife would not approve. He wants a woman with standards he must abide by. When you approach relationships like that, you send the signal: I'm not the fun girl you can take advantage of. You'll still get attention, trust me. It will just come from the men who are ready to make you their wife, and that's all you wanted anyway.